After The Fall Read online

  “So Natalie Sharp,” he said, propping himself up on one elbow to look at me. “Tell me everything about yourself.”

  “I don’t think there is much to tell,” I said,” girl from small town, moves to big smoke to study, graduated recently with a business degree. I have a mother, father and a little brother who has another couple of years of high school.”

  “And you work at that restaurant,” he said.

  “Yes, John’s been good to me while I’ve been studying and given me as many shifts as I could get to pay the rent. Now I’ve finished studying I need to find a full time permanent job. Especially now I’m losing the only stable work that I do have.”

  “I’m so sorry about that Natalie. It’s my father’s company developing the land. I meant what I said though, if it makes you happy I can try to talk to him about it.”

  “Did you really mean that or is that part of your line to get me into bed?” I asked.

  “Well if you noticed, I did just say it again and I’ve already had you. Three times I believe.”

  I grinned. “Sweet as,” I said.

  “What on earth does that mean?” he asked.

  “It means good. I’m glad you did mean it.”

  “You talk funny,” he said.

  “I speak the Queen’s English buddy, it’s you who speaks funny.”

  He laughed and kissed me again. “Chur bro,” I said, poking my tongue at him.

  “What the hell does that mean? You are just playing with me now woman,” he said with a laugh.

  “It means thank you,” I said.

  “Oh. Then you are very welcome,” he said. “Now as wonderful as this has been I need to get to a meeting.”

  “I need to go to work anyway,” I said, “am I really going to see you again?”

  “You will if you want to, do you want to see me again?”

  “I have body parts that definitely do. I guess I do too,” I said.

  He laughed. “I feel the same way, want me to pick you up after work?”

  “That would be great. Lets just come back here though rather than doing it in your car. It’s probably going to be cold.”

  “You bet.”

  After that we were together every night. Either at my place or his. Rebecca teased me about making up for lost time but the truth was that I was making the most of it before he disappeared on me and went back to the US.

  I can’t say I didn’t have feelings for him. I don’t think you can be so intimate with someone and not but if he had feelings for me he never revealed them and I never would in return.

  We lay in bed for hours talking, and I liked that we had become friends. I taught him all about New Zealand and he told me about his home in the US. I took it all in eagerly. I had never been out of the country and while getting a job was my priority, the thought of travelling appealed. Alex was something special and I had to keep reminding myself not to get too attached. He wasn’t after a real relationship but already I wasn’t looking forward to letting him go.

  When neither of us were working I showed him around my city. It didn’t feel like much compared to all the sights he had described and he laughed at my fear of heights when I took him up the Sky Tower. “You would never survive at home with all the big buildings there,” he said, teasing me.

  “I am fine when I’m inside a building. It’s the looking down from here that terrifies me,” I said.

  He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. “Lucky that there’s no chance of you falling,” he said.

  Our eyes met and something washed over me, and I realised that more than ever I didn’t want let him go. I blinked back the tears at the thought of him leaving. I would be left with these memories and not much else of him and I had to learn to live with that.

  “Are you all right Natalie? We can get back to the ground now if it does scare you. You’re so pale,” he said, his eyes filled with concern.

  “I think that might be a good idea,” I said. I looked away and pulled myself out of his arms.

  “Let’s go and get pizza and eat it in bed at home,” he said. He leaned over and murmured in my ear “though I can think of something else I’d like to eat right now.”

  That made me laugh and he grinned. “That’s better. Let’s go home,” he said.

  Home meant me sitting in bed eating pizza while he claimed the spot between my legs and his tongue made up for all the teasing.

  “Does that make you feel better?” he asked.

  I sighed. “It feels wonderful,” I said.

  “We’re not too bad together, you and I,” he said, “maybe one day you can come to New York and I’ll take you out for real pizza.”

  “Maybe. Do I get to eat it in bed like this?”

  “You could do if you wanted to, I wouldn’t complain,” he said with a grin and leaned over me to grab a piece of pizza for himself.

  “I hope you’re going to clean up after yourself,” I said, looking at the crumbs on the sheets.

  “What? You or the pizza?” he asked and kissed me between bites.

  That was when I knew I was falling for him.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Fighting

  Our first fight was about a month after we’d spent our first night together, I had stayed the night at his place and woke up to find a whole pile of money beside the bed. It threw me. Here I was getting deeper and deeper into this relationship while I thought he just wanted some fun but this was over the top.

  He was gone from the bed and I could smell food cooking so I knew he was in the kitchen.

  I pulled on a tank top and some shorts and headed in the direction of the food, finding him serving it onto two plates.

  He smiled as I entered the room. “I was just about to come and wake you up with breakfast.”

  “What is this?” I asked, waving the bundle of money at him.

  “Some money for you,” he said.

  “I’m not a fucking whore,” I yelled.

  He stopped what he was doing and looked at me. “No, you’re not but I know that you are working hard to find a new job and need all the money you can. Besides I was kind of hoping we could go shopping at one of those fancy lingerie places and get you something hot to wear.”

  “I don’t want your money,” I said, throwing it at him.

  “What’s your problem?”

  “You, thinking I need money. You don’t have to pay me for this.”

  “I know I don’t.” He put down the fork in his hand and walked towards me.

  “Then why do it? It just makes me feel cheap.”

  He pressed against me, pushing me backwards against the kitchen counter.

  “Because I want you to be happy. I want to be able to buy you special treats.” He stroked my face with the palm of his hand.

  “I don’t need anything, the sex is enough,” I said. I don’t even know why I was still angry, he hadn’t mean to offend me or make me feel the way that I had but I was wound up now and not wanting to let it go.

  “Then why are you still upset? You’re so tense and I know exactly what will take care of that,” he said.

  “Screw you, today is ruined. I feel like a whore and you’re not helping.”

  “Then what do you want me to do to say sorry?” he asked.

  “I have no idea,” I said.

  His lips pressed against mine as his tongue tried to find my tongue. I was so turned on that all I wanted was for him to fuck me but after screaming at him that he’d made me feel like a whore it felt wrong to want this so badly.

  I pushed him away and glared at him. All he did was grin. He could smell my arousal as I could sense his and he came back for seconds, pressing his hard body against mine again as his mouth grazed my neck.

  “Screw you,” I said again, “I’m so damn addicted to this already and it has only been a month. I don’t think I can take two more months of this.”

  “Of course you can,” he said, pushing his hand up my top and gently squeezing my breast. “How
about it Natalie, want to be my whore?”

  He grinned and I knew he was trying to get a rise out of me. And I was going to rise to the occasion as I could feel his cock straining against the fabric of his trousers trying to get to me.

  “Is that what you want?” I asked, “You want me to be your whore?”

  “I want to do unspeakable things to you. Throw you on that couch and bury myself in your pussy like there’s no tomorrow. Catch you up on all those orgasms you missed while being a student prude.”

  “Fuck you,” I said and slapped him. I grinned at the look on his face, having caught him completely by surprise.

  “It’s like that is it?” he said.

  I laughed. “What are you going to do about it?”

  He gripped my wrists. “You’re not going to do that again.”

  His mouth found mine again in a frenzied rush to get his tongue back into me and I pushed back with mine, revelling in the taste of him.

  “Natalie,” he murmured.

  “Fuck me,” I said.

  He let go of my wrists and gripped my breasts, squeezing harder now. “You are so fucking hot all of the time, it drives me nuts,” he said.

  “Good,” I said as he pulled my top over my head. I had no underwear on and he licked and suckled at my breasts as if he’d never seen them before.

  He turned me round and pulled my shorts down, pushing into me hard, each thrust pushing me onto the kitchen counter. I knew I would have a sore chest after this, the pressure of him thrusting versus the hardness of the counter top left me squeezed in between but I was not complaining.

  “Holy shit Natalie,” he cried out, giving me one last push. The edge of the bench cut into me but I didn’t care. His kisses took the pain away, and his lips trailing down my neck made me forget about why we were arguing.

  It wasn’t until he pulled out of me and backed away that we both realised what we had done.

  “Shit,” he said.

  I looked down, realising that in the heat of the moment we hadn’t used any protection.

  “Shit is right,” I said, pushing him further away and pulling up my shorts.

  Frantic, I went to the bathroom and washed thoroughly before pulling on some clothes.

  “Sorry Natalie. Are you OK?” he asked.

  “I will be when I get to the pharmacy and sort out a morning after pill,” I said.

  “It’s all my fault, let me take care of things.”

  “I think you’ve taken care of enough don’t you?” I asked. I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry Alex, we’re both at fault here, I got just as carried away as you did.”

  He sat down on the bed beside me. “We did get carried away didn’t we?” Tears rolled down my cheeks and he held my face in his hands and wiped them away.

  “I’m sorry for everything, the money thing was thoughtless. When I’m with you, all rational thought goes from my head and I don’t even know how to begin to think straight. I have to admit this whole thing is becoming pretty obsessive for something with no commitment, maybe we need to look at that.”

  “You are only here for two more months, there’s no point this being anything more than what it is. I’m going to go to the pharmacy and sort out some emergency contraception and go home for some sleep. Maybe we just need a break from each other,” I said.

  “Maybe,” he said, “but I wish we didn’t.”

  “It’s for the best,” I said.

  I stood up and grabbed my bag. “Let me drive you,” he said.

  “I need some fresh air,” I replied and kissed him on the cheek before walking out the door and down the road towards the nearby shops. This part of town was familiar territory now and I knew the nearest pharmacy wasn’t that far away.

  The lady who served me was lovely, and went through all the precautions before taking my money and giving me the pill. I stopped on the way to the bus stop to buy a drink to take it with and then made my way home.

  Rebecca was surprised to see me. “It’s Saturday morning, I thought I wouldn’t see you again until Monday,” she said.

  “Well surprise,” I said and burst into tears.

  She sighed. “Oh dear, what’s happened?”

  I told her what had happened that morning and she started to laugh. “You two are hopeless, there is no way you will get to the end of the three months and not want to keep seeing each other.”

  “We can’t. That’s the deal and we’re sticking to it but this morning was such a screw up and I just want to go to bed now and sleep.”

  She came closer and hugged me. “Go and get some sleep then, I’ll be going out later so you’ll have some time to yourself. Not that we have really seen each other lately.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry.”

  Rebecca laughed. “Don’t ever be sorry about getting laid.”

  “You cheeky cow,” I said with a laugh.

  “Seriously, we’re here for you. And if you ever want a threesome with Troy and I…” she said.

  That made me laugh even harder. “I wouldn’t touch Troy if he was the last man on earth. No offence.”

  “None taken. At least I’ve got you smiling.”

  “Love you Becs,” I said.

  “Love you too my crazy BFF.”

  I slept a large chunk of the day. It wasn’t really that I was tired, it was just kind of nice to be at home in my own bed by myself again.

  When I woke up Rebecca was still there. “I’ll be here for another hour or so and then I’m going out,” she said.

  “I might jump in the bath,” I said, “have a nice long soak while it’s quiet.”

  “I’m going to stay the night at Troy’s place so you take as long as you want.”

  The water was scalding hot when I got in, just the way I liked it. These last few weeks having spent all my spare time with Alex I had been taking quick showers but tonight the bath water soothed my melancholy. I knew it was as much my fault what had happened as it was his. If he had been going to treat me like a whore he would have done it weeks ago but we had dropped into this relationship as if we were together and not just screwing each other.

  He had meant the gesture to be nice and not sleazy, I knew that deep down because I knew him now. There wasn’t a sleazy bone in his body, apart from his initial checking out my boobs but I had yet to come across a man who didn’t do that.

  My thoughts drifted to the rest of my life. I had no idea what to do when work closed in another month, as yet there was no other job to go to and while I had some small savings they wouldn’t last me for long.

  There was a gentle tap on the door and I assumed it was Rebecca on her way out to Troy’s place. “Can I come in?” It was Alex.

  “Sure,” I said and the door opened. He had this weird look on his face and I realised he felt awkward about being here after what had happened. It was written all over him.

  He sat beside the bath and looked at me. “I had to come and see you after this morning, make sure you were all right.”

  I sighed. “I’m fine, I went and got my little tablet and took it. I’ll just have to wait and see now.”

  He put his hand over mine on the edge of the bathtub. “We will just have to wait and see. I was hoping I could spend the night.”

  “You can if you want, after this though all I’m going to want to do is sleep.”

  “That’s fine with me,” he said.

  “Want to get in the bath with me? I’m sure you can squeeze in.”

  He stripped off his clothes and stepped in behind me while I moved forward and then I lay back in the tub, in the arms of the man who I knew I loved but couldn’t tell.

  “I just want to hold you in my arms while we sleep,” he said, “I am so sorry about earlier Natalie, I really did get carried away and with you it’s so easy to do.”

  “I’m sorry too,” I said, “everything just got so out of hand and I didn’t mean for it to go that far.”

  “I am not apologising for fucking you over that counter top though,�
�� he said, “I just should have remembered to take precautions while doing it.”

  “It was really hot,” I said, “I’m still rather tender from it poking me in the ribs.”

  He laughed. “I’ll just have to kiss the tenderness away.”

  “I think I would like that,” I said.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Everything comes to an end

  So we continued down this track, Alex and I. Most nights were an adventure for us in each other’s arms though I was overjoyed a week after our incident in the kitchen to get my period. No baby worries for me.

  We were now a week away from me being unemployed and I was no closer to finding a job. Alex said he could try to help me find something but that just felt awkward so I kept looking though it was a tough market out there.

  “I’ll find something,” I would say but I wasn’t really that confident especially as time dragged on. The problem was that all the other graduates were out there looking for jobs. I wasn’t desperate yet but I was more worried than I let anyone know. Including Alex.

  John knew I was seeing Alex after he picked me up from work a couple of times and if he didn’t approve he said nothing. It was too late to worry or hold grudges anymore, it was all a done deal even though Alex told me all the time he was still trying to fight it.

  I went for more job interviews and while nothing came of any of them, I kept on trying. It was all I could do.

  My life was so up and down. The incredible nights of passion followed by the days at work where everyone was miserable. Word had already spread so business had slowed, people weren’t sticking around for the death of the restaurant. I felt bad for John. He was finding out who his real friends were and all those loyal customers weren’t so loyal in the end.

  John helped me out by finding me a few nights work with one of his friends. He owned a catering company and had landed some contracts for some fairly big functions at the convention centre. Temporary staff was what he needed and I signed up with a few of the others. At the very least it would give me some extra money for my nest egg to tide me over until I got another job.

  The first few evenings were fairly boring, Alex knew I was working to save the money so he came over after I got home. We had settled into a routine where we were spending most nights together, still with no commitment but time was running out and soon enough we would be apart again and getting on with our lives.